"Who is queen?"

"I don't think you're even capable of saying a bad word about anyone."
"I'm Italian-Irish-German. Trust me, I can be vindictive." I don't tell them that I am that special insidious sort of vindictive. The kind that uses sugar, spice, and everything nice. The kind that plays comely and kindly and then turns it into the most intimate of personal embarrassments. It is one thing to insult someone with words-- it is another to prove such accusations true.
"No," he said "No, I don't buy it. You're vindictive like... you're vindictive like a kumquat!"
"What does that even mean?" I ask through my laughter. Kumquats are not anything remotely approaching emotive, let alone vindictive.
"I don't know" he says, "But it fits. You're like the Kumquat Queen"
"Then I wouldn't mess with me" I said
"Touche. But you're still not vindictive. You can't be."

I don't know what made me think of that today. But then, when does one ever think of a kumquat except to make it a figure of speech or the butt of a joke?

Memo:

To: Arizona Drivers

From: Me

Regarding: Your driving "skillz"

Now, I consider myself a patient girl. I have endured California drivers, Massachusetts drivers, New Hampshire drivers, and the occasional Maine/Vermont driver. I endured tourista season in San Diego with valiant effort. And yet, I find myself facing the toughest challenge yet: your driving.

A few helpful reminders:

• The limit line is, in fact, NOT the line furthest from you. That's the edge of the cross walk. You know, where all those pesky pedestrians can often be found? Yeah, stopping at that line in the middle of the biggest/busiest intersection in town when you're in the left hand turn lane? It's what we call "recipe for disaster"
• Speaking of that left hand turn lane? So not necessary to nearly run me over in that lane on your way to the lane furthest to the right in your direction of travel.
• Turn signals-- look into it. They aren't just for decoration anymore!
• Riding my ass (metaphorically speaking) will not make me go faster. The fact that you would like to go 50 mph in a school zone is not my problem.
• Please do not blast loud rap or R&B near my mother. I'm not going to be held responsible for her rolling down all the windows and blasting NPR or Bach right back at you. It's embarrassing for all of us.
• Red means stop. Green means go. Yellow means get your ass out of my way.
• A neighborhood street being undivided does not mean that you get to drive down the middle.
• Pulling out into the middle of the road and stopping in the face of oncoming traffic? Well, let's just say it also falls under "recipe for disaster"
• You do not, by divine right, birth right, Constitutional right, or any other right, possess the power to always go first. Nor can you always run stop signs or red lights. This is how bad things happen.
• Traffic laws are not something that can or should be protested. Just live with it.
• A side note: running over the barista on your way to get into Starbucks isn't really going to help you get your coffee. In fact, it will generally impede that activity. So knock it off.

Hopefully you'll all remember these hints in the future so that my blood pressure can return to normal and I can start sweating the small stuff again. Oh hell, it's the desert, I'd like to get back to just normal sweating with no cause other than the weather.

You know you love me,
XOXO,
Coffee girl

Odds and ends and brick-a-brac

I've disappeared for a month or so, not that that's unusual. For all the time I spend on the internet, I do not think as much as I once did. Perhaps it's my day job-- I can explain the difference between a latte and a cappuccino, why french presses are better, why loose leaf tea is the way to go, why an iced cappuccino is somewhere between heresy and a desire for food poisoning, and so on forever. I can also tell you that the harder the economic times get, the meaner customers get, as though the baristas are personally responsible for their consistent wasting of money in all manner of "must haves" that aren't so crucial anymore. I can even start to talk about what went wrong in the economy, though not very well (it's an expansion on the theme of "who watches the watchmen" if you care). But thinking? Honest to goodness thinking? It doesn't come up very often for me anymore.

I've officially finished my first semester of library school. Not what one might call though provoking, maybe, but it isn't supposed to be. I mean, you are more than welcome to try and come up with a replacement for MARC21 or the Library of Congress Subject Headings (fat chance it'll catch on). But to do that you need a certain amount of time working in the field. What seems good on paper may not be in practice, and you won't know until you've worked as a librarian. So I went about my studies, and learned all about cataloging and collection development and research methods (perhaps the least helpful of my classes because it was all repetition of my Stats class a few years ago-- but with bonus ideology).

You know, the library world is a funny thing. It is at once focused on innovations and integrating the latest computer technology into the library and not moving a muscle from the established status quo. Which, I'll be honest, is befuddling. I understand the drive to get more twenty-somethings into libraries. They use it, they'll teach their kids to use it, etc etc etc. However, TELLING the twentysomethings that are entering the field that they couldn't possibly understand the demands of the twentysomething is ludicrous. So I'm young. So what? I've been computer literate since I was 4, internet savy since I was 6, and marketing myself since I hit school. My experience is most certainly valid-- I'm the kid with the iPod, the RSS feeds, the blog, and more-- all simultaneous activities no less. It appears that, somewhere along the line, the libraries forgot that they were a part of the service sector. I'm not busting out a "Just say Yes" policy (that, by the way, is the way that spectacular failure and disgruntled empolyees lies... from my observations). I simply wonder if libraries could listen, just a little bit, to their constiuents. The fact that they're run by the government doesn't mean they have to try to live up to the stereotype of a government agency. I mean really...

There's all kinds of business going on at my fair alma, though I'm sure everyone who reads this already knows. I'll try not to say I told you so, but I will ply you with arguments similar to those I make to the libraries-- the fact that recent graduate are, in fact, only 22 or 23 does not invalidate their observations, opinions, struggles, etc. My class seems to have been locked out by everyone: admin, alumni, everyone. And quite frankly, we wrote home, we tried to tell people that something was rotten in the state of Denmark. And we were called liars, and anarchists, and moles, and uncharitable, and every rotten name in the book. All of a sudden we were every villain of every piece ever read at that school. And all I have to say is-- we were right. You think we're a bunch of scum bags who lie for shits and giggles? We were trying to save the place that was onnly just turning us loose on a wide world, a place that was shifting right out from under us as we stumbled out into a ruthless world with nobody to watch us. And we were nothing, less than dirt. Well, if things go further south? It's not because we didn't try-- it's because no one else did. And with that, I leave it behind me. It's like ripping out part of my heart-- my graduation, which should have been so happy, was a boot up my ass to get me out of there. I was already forgotten. I'm just returning the favor.

The audacity of questioning

I have always been a questioning sort. Not in the "how does this work?" sort of way. I'm like Mindy from Anamaniacs, I just keep asking "Why?" My whole life I've run into people who were willing to question why things were, what they were, why they existed. As I look back, I realize that most of these people were outside mainstream academia, something that should explain why I sit where I sit now in grad school. It doesn't.

I have a class, Research Methods, which is very heavily grounded in ideology. And no, I don't mean that there's a background idea that weaves its way through the course. I mean ideology as in the dangerous kind, as in an idea that grabs hold of people to the point that their world view is entirely determined by the ideology. You know, the scary kind. In this case, its Italian socialism mixed with bits of Marx mixed with good old fashioned American know how and pushing things to the nth degree. It's certainly interesting, and outside my normal purview. For the sake of my grade, I haven't questioned this within the confines of the class. I have, however, spent the entire semester questioning the why and wherefore. It's a personal growth thing.

Perhaps that's why I was so shocked when the undercurrent I had detected in the comments flared out in the most awkward of ways. One of the students decided to hold forth on the fact that questioning isn't natural, that all of us are preconditioned to NOT question, and that we must learn how. This came from a student who has been nothing but dogmatic on many many issues, not the least of which was a debate with me over the usage of the word "hegemony." It gets me thinking again of how lucky I am, and how screwed we as a society are.

I'm lucky because I have been left to my natural inclination, ie, questioning. Aristotle says that man is, by nature, a political animal. That may be, but I think man is, by nature, a curious animal as well. How much do we prize inovation and invention? What marks a small child as annoying but their insatiable curiousity? Curiousity begats questioning which generally begats thinking. And man is marked by his thought-- what else distinguishes him from the other animals?

And this preconditioning thing-- my colleagues act as though it is nature, when it is the opposite. It's unnatural, it's not good, and its everywhere. It's also how ideologies take hold-- if there is but one school of thought that promises everything you ever wanted and an answer to the evils in the world wouldn't you take it? No difficulty, no pain, just an answer to the questions that you keep trying to supress. How wonderful. And so people stop questioning, and start being lemmings.

I'm sure you all know where that leads to. It's more than just different schools of thought. It's why people of radical political persuations can truly not understand someone with a different view point; it's outside the system so its outside the world.It just frightens me that so many people agreed with her assesment: that people think we are naturally sheep, uninquiring beings who simply live because we are waiting to die. If an entire society has entered that mind set that isn't it too simply living because it is waiting to die? Scary thought.

Stop, look, listen, think about what's going on

Props to anyone who remembers the PSA that the titular ditty is from (rock on 90's cartoon PSAs!)

This, however, is not a PSA about keeping the peace and being strong. It's simply this: Government! Yes you, whom I pay taxes to, who repairs my roads, who keeps me safe in war and peace, yes you. Cease with the bailouts! The mortgage situation, in large part, is a bed made by us and now we lie in it. Lying, in fact, is what got us there. Remember, my mother's brokerage specializes in loss mitigation and loan renegotiation. I'm not just some outsider, I'm on the ground floor of this business, and I'm telling you this: people's own greed, stupidity, decietfulness, and vice is what got us here. People decided they were entitled to the American dream without a second's worth of work; they believed that a house and a Hummer and a Sea Doo and designer clothes should fall into their laps because of the (perceived) cleaverness of them. That's not the way it works, and that's not actually the American dream.

The American dream? That's what you're stealing from me by ponying up trillion's of dollars to save the people who lied about their income, their work, their life, and their needs to get a giant house they couldn't afford. The American Dream, simply stated, is that you get what you give. You work? You can get where you want to go. You don't work? You'll get some help, because we look out for each other, but you don't get a damn McMansion. You get tools, not the fish or the damn fleet.

But guess who now gets to fund the bail out of your fabulous home? Me. The girl who pays her taxes, who's making 7.90 an hour at STARBUCKS and trying to get a Master's degree and trying beyond all reason to get herself closer to her fiance. My parents, who try as hard as they can to keep a roof over our heads, who try to stay out of debt, who work until 3 am and get up again at 8am and keep going. We don't have uber nice things: there isn't a designer dress or shoe in this house, we drive a Camry and Corolla, not a Beemer. But we eat well, and we can afford a bottle of wine with dinner, and we can sit at the table for hours and talk when we have that luxery. We don't buy the latest iPhone, or computer. We buy generic a lot of times because the name brand isn't worth the extra four bucks. And you know what this whole economic crunch has made me realize? That as much of pain in the ass as that lifestyle may appear, it's wonderful. At no point was I any more worried about economics then I ever have been (we watch CNBC in this house, it's not like I'm ever not worried). I havn't feared losing my house, or my way of life. We live, and we delight in simple things-- my hobby is cross stitch, which is a whopping 35 cents to fund (per color of course). We read books, we borrow movies from the library. We take advantage of the one thing that government does really well. Local government has always been about being the closest to the people, to making sure that they're taken care of. Part of that? All sorts of low cost or free stuff. Libraries, pilates, free movie nights, all sorts of community events that you already paid for through your taxes.

You remember all those old stories of village parties and town square fairs? How people came together and just hung out? How they were both self sufficient and part of the community? Why not just update it? There's no reason that it should be limited like it was then. Bring everyone in. Here's where idealism takes over. If you actually interact with people in the community-- people of ALL types, races, religions, ethnicities, tax brackets-- you might find that some social issues ease. If you're my friend you're my friend, and I don't give a damn about the rest. If you annoy me, well, take comfort in the fact that it's likely just clashing personalities and not a deeper problem (I told you idealism). In the meantime, don't take the money for that away so that you can save a bunch of liars and cheats the "indignity" of having to do an honest day's work.

You know what grinds my gears?

I seriously cannot fathom basing Library Science/Information studies research on Marxist theory. I can't. I don't see why anyone would WANT to. I don't understand why Marx's substructure/superstructure works as a basis for research and the libraries when, quite frankly, it doesn't exist as he imagined it to in the real world. It certainly doesn't exist when taken out of his whole theory.

I mean, certainly things are culturally determined, but the superstructure was everything: state, church, family, personal relationships, academia (hint, hint, yo). If we base ourselves in that superstructure aren't we admitting that we are participating in something that is alienating man from himself, that our work is simply ephemeral and will pass away with all of the world as we know it when the revolution comes? Of course not, because we take only the idea of substructure, superstructure, and cultural hegemony. We also should think capitalism is evil, but I'll be you that none of these people have considered that Marx is probably rolling in his grave that the INSTITUTIONS of man's alienation are now trying to pick and choose his theory. I mean, give the man some respect and leave his theory intact. Geez.

Why academia, well, sucks.

It was a secret hidden well from me. My parents did it on purpose, the faculty of Thomas More saw it as something to be avoided at all costs. The secret I speak of is typical academia's attitude toward their students. Quite simply, they assume that you are rock stupid and unable to comprehend anything so well as they. Prodigies are acceptable only in grade school, perhaps high school. Beyond that, the professor knows all and you can only hope to achieve a measure of his greatness.
I was so blissfully ignorant going into my Master's program. I assumed that, along with being able to address your professors by first name came a certain amount of respect, if for no other reason than that you survived the undergraduate days and decided that pushing forward was a good idea. This idea was quickly knocked out of me after I left 504, "Librarian Boot Camp." I expected Drill Sergeants for profs and I got nice people. This, I was told, was the norm. I could expect earnest people who sought to impart wisdom. I should have known better than to expect the Boomer generation to think anyone could touch them, let alone learn.

Now before you say "But your profs at TMC were boomers!" they really aren't. Dr. Sampo is the "Greatest Generation," Drs. Fahey, Nelson, and Blum are too young to be in the Boomer generation. I think they fall between Gen X and Boomers, which I count as a good thing. I suppose that Dr. Mumbach qualifies, but she always stuck me as ageless, so I'll let it slide. So you see, I escaped there. Now I find myself faced with them, full on. There's something about the Boomer generation I just don't understand. Perhaps it's because they, in many ways, had it the best of all the generations we're dealing with now. They got the 50's ideal, they were the first generation that could really afford superfluous things like nice cars or vacations. And I think it went to their heads.

There are also a lot of them. They run just about everything, because the baby boom was so large. If I had even a dime for every time I endured a snide remark because of my youth (and thus, my perceived stupidity), I would be able to retire now a wealthy woman. This attitude of superiority is only worsened with the title "Professor." A PhD seems to confer a false sense of superiority that enables it's bearer to look down their nose at everyone younger than them, regardless of actual ability, intelligence, or qualities. As part of this, it is apparently necessary to assign readings that insult the basic intelligence of any person with the ability to use their brain. If you disagree with the article, clearly you are in the wrong because several of the author's colleagues reviewed the article and it was published! Have you been published? Therefore you are in no position to judge good research from bad!

The fact of the matter is that, despite my 22 years, I AM in a position to judge. I have read a large chunk of Western Canon. I have done an in depth study of a legal system which is nothing if not complex, and if you think that doesn't involve research you underestimate the project. I have performed analysis on political philosophies, literary interpretations, and plain old fashioned philosophy for four years. I have written, presented, and defended my study of common law and was complimented on my work by no less than a "Who's who" of Notre Dame Alumni, a man who holds two Master's degrees from Oxford, and an incredibly accomplished and published literary critic. And they were the least scary of the 100 person panel to whom I presented and defended my thesis. I did a semester long study of one man's political theory, a man who designed the American Executive and the Electoral College, as well as the man who took 20 resolutions and formed them into a document that would become the US Constitution. Hardly an easy study to do, and I did it, and did it well. Age is not a factor, accomplishment is. Even without a PhD, I can find an article insultingly simple and wrong.

A few highlights:

• Making "Hegemony" equivalent with political myth, sociology, and "acceptance."
• The 'pluralist paradigm'-- the idea that all groups within a given social science can have a paradigm, that each of these paradigms is in fact a paradigm, that each is equally valuable, and that this lack of consensus is in fact a STRENGTH
• That having no dominant group within a society can constitute an hegemony
• That the values of America are applicable to an international field as its base (btw? Fact chance that anyone else will agree with you on that)
• That the world can be "falsely imagined as a realm of facts independent of the knower." Moreover, they think that this means the same thing as not taking research out of context. If you're going to follow Hume, follow Hume and say you don't know the sun is gonna rise tomorrow. Don't do this weird side step watoosie that doesn't actually say anything.
• That the best way to understand research in library science is a Hegelian-Marxist-Neitzchan idea.
• Non canonical theory-- if it's in a book, it's canon. If it's canon, it had a maker. If it had a maker, it is automatically ideological in the worst sense and should be ignored, repudiated, and destroyed.
• Political economy and sociology? Totally the same thing.

I've still got 10 or so more pages, but I just can't make it. I cannot read through more of this. I cannot sit there and pretend that any of this is true or good or relevant. That's the kicker. This class is about RESEARCH, and apparently this means that we have to find what's wrong with everything according to our only socially constructed ideological bent. I guess I don't mind the ideology so much; it's the fact that the article claims it's uncovering it that bothers me. It's almost worse when you consider that they made a sort of shepherd's pie out of the major modern and and postmodern ideologies and called it fresh and new.

In the words of lolcats? UR DOING IT WRONG

The things they don't tell you about in school...

Another title for this entry could be "Why Hegemony Matters." If you look up hegemony in the dictionary, you'll like find that it comes from the Greek for leadership, and that it's generally used in terms of parties or countries that are trying to exert power. It's a decent definition, but one that doesn't quite encompass the whole meaning, as I was taught.

Hegemony is much more than leadership. Most of the time, it carries with it a racial connotation, though that's not a "must have." It involves a people who feel they have a right to certain lands, or that certain peoples are in fact part of their people. It's a difficult concept for American's to get their heads around-- small wonder, when our society is so scattered that the idea of not having an overarching identity is heralded as a landmark and the "strength of the nation." Europe has a similar loathing of self, but it's in constant conflict with the very ancientness of the land-- the French, the Germans, the English are all people who have existed in their spots of land for a very, very long time. Those of you who have some familiarity with the time between World War I and World War II will have hint of what I aim for. Many of Hitler's earlier conquests, including the Rhineland and Austria, were achieved because of this idea. Both lands were seen as inherently German-- people, land, culture, language.

However, of all the nations in all the world, perhaps none have such strong ideas of self and hegemony as China and Russia. China I'm leaving out of this particular entry, because it seems that people have finally realized that the Chinese are very much self-determined: they are Chinese, and with that comes race, religion, culture, language and history that directly affects the Chinese psyche of past, present, and future. Hopefully the Olympics will showcase some of the lighter, more awe inspiring moments of Chinese history, and the beauty that still remains in the culture.

Russia, on the other hand, is another story. By now, many of you will have heard that Russia has entered the sovereign territory of the Republic of Georgia, on the night of the Olympic opening ceremonies. This was in response to rebel forces which were attempting to reclaim Georgian territory which they feel is theirs, while maintaining that they are not Georgian. The whole thing is a bit of a mess, but there's one thing that people keep missing. The simple fact of the matter is that NOT everyone thinks like an American. In fact, only Americans think like Americans. We have enough in common with Western Europe that there are usually few problems, but beyond that? Russia is a great country-- they've had culture longer than most, they have their own identity which is totally different than ours. That's not to say it's good or bad, it simply IS. Yet most of the world is going into the situation trying to deal with it like it's just another western country that got a little power hungry. That's not it at all-- it's a matter of culture, and place, and language, a yes a touch of race. It is something that we can't ever really understand. I've studied English culture and law and myth. That doesn't mean I understand it like someone who was raised in it, who has indisputable blood ties to the very core of understanding that exists within it.

As an analogue that more of my audience is likely to understand, I offer you... the cowboy. Who outside of America understands the American symbol of the cowboy loping over the hills, the "up by your bootstraps" mentality? To them it's John Wayne-- realistically, John Wayne just did it best for film. That idea, that lone wolf help others mentality is old, as old as the country itself. And you don't have to be a genius to figure out that the rest of the world doesn't get it. They have no reason to. That's why it's the "American myth" not the "Human myth." Does it participate in the human myth? Sure. The same is true of Russia. Almost more than you'd think-- 3rd Rome is part of both of our psyches. Along with that goes a whole lot more that is inherently Russian.

I have pride in my country, I do. Despite the fact that I'm taught I must loathe it, despite the fact that there is a lot worth loathing, I have affection and pride for my country. Russia was told by the world to loathe the USSR. Loathe it I'm sure they did. But the USSR wasn't Russia, not really. So how exactly does one deal with a people who have a wholly unique psychic understanding of themselves? It isn't by appealing to the things that the West holds dear. Russia is neither west nor east-- they are Russia. It's just the way it is.

The end is just the beginning...

So they say at least. As of 2pm today, I'm done with the face to face portion of IRLS 504, "Librarian Boot Camp." Most of my graduating classmates are winding down summer, or working. Summer has been over for me since before it began. I spent the early part of my summer fighting to get into grad school, then working to make enough money to go to grad school. And my grad school started in July. It's both good and bad. My prgram requires twice as many credits as the average Master's program. So you can see that I'm feeling a little...overaught, especially when reminded of the great summers had by all the people I know. I'm trying to overcome that, but it's just not working.

On the other hand, I haven't got time to feel sorry for myself, or really thinkg about anything above the basic automoton level. It's a rough way to say goodbye to your youth: running from undergraduate level stuff to a professional graduate program full of people who lived it up when they were your age. Granted that's why they're there at their age and not my age. Still...but no.

504 was fun, packed as all get out, but fun. I'm glad that I'm done with it, because the whole thing was sort of like 3/4 of the JP semester crammed into one week. However, I now know that there is such a thing as metadata, that cataloging is NOT the career of choice these days if you want to actually be in a library, that public librarianship is big but you can only really catch a break if you enter as a children's librarian (and really, how many of those do you need in one branch?), that I have an odd ability to be a smartass and therefore show up people twice my age (whoopsy), and that this program is more disorganzied then almost anything TMC attempted.

Notes from the trenches...

So I have 10 minutes until the afternoon lectures commence, and it's the first chance in two weeks that I've had a moment to blog.

I have found a new restaurant in Tucson that is worth the trip down here all by itself. It's an English pub called Frog and Firken and it's amazing. Google it.

Music libraries? Have no standard of cataloging and classification. The section that's not accounted for in the schemes? Recordings. Yes, you heard me, there's no room for recorded music in the music classification scheme.

I'm doing my issues paper on filtering, rather then my chosen topic, which apparently was too forward thinking. Look for my old topic to appear often in this space in the future.

I'm amazed that no one in class this morning could/wanted to define what the purpose of a catalog is. Oy.

I'm done on Thursday!!!! Back to Phoenix I go, armed with some new knowledge, but mainly the experience of a 'real live university.'

This is a quickie for those of you who find Europe intriguing. I don't want to be accused of being Euro-centric, but come on: these people are sort of fascinating and non-threatening (violence-wise) at the same time. That's certainly rare enough. Anyway, the EU had another draft of its constitution up for vote this year. Of the 27 member countries, only one threw the Constitution into a referendum style vote: Ireland.

And now 45% of the 3 million voters of Ireland are rejecting the Constitution. For starters, the people bitching about that being a sizable minority are right but should also shut up. Protesters of the Constitution from all 27 countries have been gathering in Ireland to make themselves heard on this. Ireland was just the only country who decided that the people should have a say on this. I understand that EU has been trying for a Constitution for years, but this one... I don't like it. It takes away the autonomy of the member nations. These are, after all, independent countries with independent peoples. These aren't states like in the US. Each of these is a COUNTRY. Reading over the cliff notes version of the treaty, they won't really be able to call themselves more then member states if this passes. I guess you can argue that if they subject themselves to it it's enough, but do they understand how much they're giving up for the sake of convenience? Clearly some people do: in addition to Ireland's very loud objection, the UK and the Czech Republic have legal objections that they want addressed before voting. And the UK and Ireland have the mother of all loopholes: they can opt in or out on any number of domestic legislative items. But the other nations can't.

Once again, my sourcing is limited to the BBC because they popped up on my news feed and I'm leaving for the airport in an hour to go to a classmate's wedding in lovely VA.

And so wags away a weary world...

I hate blogger. Just ate my post.

Anyway, I have risen from the ashes and find myself in Phoenix. Hopefully this summer with go better, though the weather is not exactly up to a fabulous start-- 60s and rain the whole time I've been home. Being home, graduation has obviously happened and I have joined the ranks of Thomas More Alumni. Comps went well, A all the way despite being up until 5am the night before with food poisoning from morte mussles (they're on the verboten list next to the morte noodles now). The exam itself was easy, got out an hour and a half early both times.

And the party? Party is painting it a little strong to be honest. We went to Portsmouth, stayed in a little hotel, and hit the beach. Beach is painting it a little strong too. It was more of a rocky overhang, but it was beautiful. We got there just after the sun set, when the sky was all cerulean and lavendar and deep deep blue. Against the dark water and the rocky ledge, it was like some sort of painting or a little piece of heaven. I'm an ocean girl, I always have been. I hadn't been back to an ocean for over a year, and I was suffering mightily from it. The same way that some people need to be in a physical church building every week, or need to see the sunset, I need the ocean. That's not to say it replaces God, but there is something so magnificent in the deep blue that buoys my very soul. I wish we'd spent three weeks on Moby Dick. One and a half is just not enough; Melville is too complex, his images to indirect and precise in the same instant. Oh well. Such is the way of things.

After comps came theses defenses, which went well as well. Hey, I got to mention King Arthur, Monty Python, and make everyone-- even Mr. Shea-- laugh. My personal favorite line of the night? [regarding a border fence]: "I think we can be open to people and not be open to cocaine. I don't know, it's just a theory I have." In the driest of deadpans. Oh yes, that would be MY sense of humor. Mikey wins the day though: "Can America form an Arthurian character? Is Jimmy Carter going to come back to save us?" also in the driest of deadpans.

And then, graduation. Sure, there was two weeks between theses and grad, but I had an incredibly busy schedule of Chick Flick Tuesday, Gossip Girl Wednesday, and Buffy Friday. So yes, I totally did no work after comps. So it goes, it's time honored. I swear. Graduation left me wanting. It was so typical, trite, normal. My education, my time at TMC was so atypical, like being trapped in a real life character study-- everything is magnified and examined and reexamined. And graduation was... just like everyone else. Well, not totally. I was able to see the faces of certain of TPTB during the ceremony, and never have a seen more sour faces-- perhaps we interrupted their tee time. Then there was the moment we were told "Partings are usually sorrowful, but not really today. Out plz, k thx." by the administration. I mean honestly, how dare you say that to me in front of my parents on MY DAY? Perhaps he meant well, but it sounded so crass and mean I couldn't help but be upset.

There was a point in the graduation, however, that I will remember all the days of my life. Dr. Mumbach stepped down as dean officially on graduation, after 30 years. She wasn't scheduled, but she gave a small speech anyway. She talked about how honored she was to have spent those thirty years doing everything, how she couldn't even take all the credit because look at where they had lured the rest of the faculty from. It was from her heart, and she was tearing as she said it, and when the juniors jumped to their feet in a thundering ovation everyone followed suit, and then she really did cry. We joke about her lectures, complain about her style,wonder what she was thinking sometimes, but we do love her, and I don't think she quite realized it. So I'm glad we gave her that.

So now home, and Starbucks, and Library Science. At least it's distance learning-- I will finally come up for review and get a raise! Maybe I can make shift, we'll see. I don't know that I really want to be a shift though. I feel like the go to barista-- I'm one of the only people who doesn't have a "zone"-- I bop around everywhere in the schedule. So we'll see.

Also, I don't care if he's my senator, I'm not voting for McCain. Not voting for Obama. Not voting for Hilary. I can't aid and abet any of these people in their quest for the White House. Ugh.

Well, Super Tuesday has come and gone, and what we're left with is rather surprising. Certainly no one expected John McCain to come out on top. There are very few conservatives that I met that would vote for him. Apparently, the Democratic game plan is to paint him as a cronie of G. W. Bush's. How they'll do that, I don't know, but I'm assuming it involves magic, since, although I am no fan of either McCain or Bush, I wouldn't really put them in the same category. And Romney dropped out, which is unfortunate, because that was the "lesser of two evils" I was gonna end up voting for. Oh well. I'll just find myself a Bahamanian island to live on for the next 4-8 years.

Also, the Hollywood Writer's strike is finally nearing it's end, which is good news to those of us who crave TV as a small bit of escapism. Funnily enough, unions came up in political economy the other day, and the question of whether strikes were effective anymore was raised. The only one any of us could think of was the Writer's Strike. Unfortunately, people don't think that picket lines are serious within the union anymore. I don't know but that I can't justify paying a bagger at a grocery store 9 bucks an hour with a 401k, and I don't understand why people are actually threatened with violence for disagreeing (before you say I'm wrong and exaggerating, it's a real example from the grocery worker's strike in San Diego about ten or twelve years ago. I didn't give a damn at the time, I just wanted my stinking Oreos...) It's something that stuck in my head, because I wonder about organized labor every now and again. Starbucks isn't unionized, and while I'd like to get paid more then 7.20 an hour to make your drink, I know it's hard to justify it to anyone who hasn't done the job, and the benefits, had I wanted them, were really good, especially for a part time job. We got that without a union, and I know full well that it was because the unions swept through all industries in the 20's and 30's that the company didn't think twice before laying out a good benefits package. But I wonder, sometimes, if we out grow our secondary institutions, like unions. And I wonder if such speculation is even worth it, because, after all, it's the intellectuals that seem to start the wars. That's what I get for being immersed in the Enlightenment and French Revolution in humanities I guess.

Two other quick notes: This I'm just not sure about. I understand that the modern man likes his deep thought, when at all possible, in the quickest easiest form (just look at network news). But cutting the Sermon on the Mount out of your version of the Bible because there's not enough action? I'm wondering about the wisdom of that....

Other quick note? It's nothing really... I got engaged Friday night.

Lovely, dark, and deep

It's very odd. Of late I've been thinking in snippets of lyrics, songs and poems. I've always found a great deal of comfort in song, why I doubt I'll ever know. It seems to resonate with my soul somehow. What's more odd for me is the prevalence of poetry in my internal thought process. I can account for the random appearance of the Beatles in my thoughts: they play at work and the Across the Universe soundtrack has completely captured my fancy. It's the presence of poetry that I find odd.

I'm a poli sci major, not lit. Several people over the years have remarked on the oddity of that to them: sure it's my bent and I know it, but they figured me for a literature major. No one ever did tell me why. But when I think back to Rome I think in snippets of Wilbur: the Piazza di Spagna at sunrise, how ceremony never did conceal how much we are the woods we wander in (oh how that resonates with me even now, much to my chagrin). When I think of school I find random phrases half remembered from Writing Workshop winging their way in. And lately it's been Frost. Funny, really. I never cared for Frost. I found his meaning far too obscured in his New England particulars: what did I know of stone walls making good neighbors, or birch trees bent by ice storms, or woods of any type? I've only ever loved one Frost poem, and I've been in love with half a stanza of "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening" since before I knew it was poetry: "The woods are lovely, dark and deep/but I have promises to keep/ and miles to go before I sleep,/and miles to go before I sleep." It's that woods bit that gets me every time. Lovely, dark, and deep: there's something so... I don't even know in it. And I always wanted to get lost in woods that way.

And the whole poem of his I liked? It sticks in my mind more then anything, especially when I think of school now:

We dance around in a circle and suppose
while the secret sits in the middle and knows.

I was told by my one Frostian expert friend that this little couplet of his was among the more overlooked of his writings, because it's too open ended and difficult. I suppose its open ended, but I love it for it. It's the only poem of his I can think of that doesn't have an ounce of New England imagery in it, and it hardly suffers from it. There's something so human about the thing, and if you ask me why I can't tell you, just like I can't tell you why Wordsworth's dancing daffodils send a thrill through my soul, or why Wilbur's Ceremony is so frustrating and true. I guess that's why people do literature as a major: because if you had the ability, why would you ever want that feeling to go away.

Well, Super Tuesday is almost upon us. Oh joy; oh rapture. I'm in Arizona, which means I'm part of the masses who will cast their vote on Feb. 5. Well, hopefully. I have to send for an absentee ballot (oh the joys of out-of-state undergraduate studies) and frankly I'm having a hard time getting up the energy to care enough to do it. Don't get me wrong, I understand that this is "exciting" stuff. I understand that this next presidential race is "pivotal": just like every other presidential race. Am I a fan of Bush? My goodness no. For one, he went along with that asinine Real ID scheme, which he should have sent back, money be damned. That, by the way, is pushing ahead like an out of control train. So, yes, I'm looking forward to a new President.

But seriously, these clowns? I can't find ONE candidate who I can vote for in any race other than lead clown in Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Baily Circus. Since when have politicians been stuffed shirts and talking heads, and since when has being a "true American" meant subscribing to an ideology, and yes I am pointing my finger at both sides of the aisle. Whatever happened to the common good? Because frankly, I think being the world's policeman is NOT our common good. If we're going to be truly international, then why is no one willing to say: Yeah, we're gonna sort of pull out of here and there are let EUROPE, with their UNION, start taking charge. Or, you know, the Red Cross in the African AIDS crisis.

Since when is politics a panacea? We went from a country built on a healthy, though not excessive, amount of distrust of think tanks and leaders who were distant, to a bunch of sheep. Yes, I'm pissed, and I'm pissed at every stripe of political activist and party member. I'm missing the days when a primary vote meant voting for the lesser of who cares, because it was better then evil and more evil and stupid. I'm tired of people on the East Coast acting like they know exactly how life everywhere in the country is (if that's true, then why are there no border police? It isn't because we're happy about an open border down here.) I'm tired of people on the West Coast dismissing everything that comes from the East Coast because it must be biased. I'm not sick of the Mid-West, mainly because I think they may have been too trampled to get their prejudices out there.

Maybe some of our founders were right: maybe their dream of a great and glorious federal republic just can't exist over such a broad swath of land. Maybe the political traditions of East Coast and West Coast are too divergent. Maybe we need to have federal republics by region that join to form a confederacy style union, like in Europe. I don't know that there's even an answer. All I know is that I cannot lend even my feeble voice of support to any candidate on my ballot, and that thought alone is enough to make me weep.

I'm curious about the wisdom of current campaign strategy in New Hampshire. A large amount of the population is university students, myself among them. Throughout the fall, we the students of New Hampshire have been hit over the head with event after event after event: meet and greets, debates, question and answer sessions, and townhall meetings. I'm a fan: so many events allow voters a chance to actually meet the candidates, and that's the way that New Hampshire has always been.

Now we're at election day, and New Hampshire is still the first in the nation-- the first primary. As I said, I am a student in New Hampshire. I am their coveted demographic. I did not vote today. Why you may ask? Why, as a young person who will have their most important years affected by this next president, did I not vote today? After all, students are allowed to vote in New Hampshire elections with day of registration-- simply provide proof of enrollment in the form of a letter and vote. Why, as a woman, did I not attempt to prove that women's voices are not only the backbone and mores of society but also that they will be heard? Why, as a college student, did I not attempt to prove that the college age demographic cares, that we will have our voices heard? I have one very simple answer to this, one which many university students will answer:

I am still on winter break. I am not in the fair state of New Hampshire.

I want to know why not one campaign, not one news network, not one blog near as I can tell bothered to check the university calendars. For the record, here are the return dates on most of the colleges and universities in New Hampshire:

Daniel Webster College: January 16
Dartmouth College: January 7 (And you can't be mad at people for deciding that they want to not vote the second day of classes)
Granite State College: begins this week (Though not necessarily yesterday)
Keene State College: January 20
St. Anselm College (the site of the debates on Saturday): January 14
Southern New Hampshire State University: January 7 (Just like Dartmouth)
Thomas More College of Liberal Arts: January 21
University of New Hampshire: January 22


There are two, perhaps three universities that begin in time for their students to vote in the election. This is assuming that the students were A) On time for their classes, which, should anyone remember their college days, isn't exactly the norm. B) Able to get to the polls between moving in and attending class. Beyond that, the students just aren't there. Half of the state system isn't in.

This isn't to say that the campaigning has been wasted by any means. Rather, the numbers are going to show up in the oddest places, all on Super Tuesday. I just find it amusing that the 21 year old poli sci senior has figured this out while the political analysts and campaign leaders seem to have forgotten that, while the primary may have moved up, winter break didn't.

ETA: At least I'm not the ONLY one who noticed this: The Boston globe had an article that I imagine got a little buried with all the other primary info, but thank goodness it wasn't just me.

Perhaps the funniest thing about the primary system is how into it everyone gets, and how upset people get that they don't get to vote in both. It's a PARTY election. It's a little aggravating because it's been coming up a lot, along with the scads of emails I get encouraging me to vote in the New Hampshire primary tomorrow. I appreciate that they want a high turnout and that, as a college kid I am the hardest demographic to get to vote. However, I'd need to be, you know, in New Hampshire to make that happen. *shakes head*

I've been thinking a lot about my senior thesis. I'm still really in love with the idea, which I guess is rare. However, I have NO idea how to go about researching it. I know I want to include Coke, Blackstone, Thomas More, Pufendorf, Badgeot, The Once and Future King, Le Morte d'Arthur, and Magna Carta, as well as the 2003 Parliamentary Bill that was a list of the top 20 English common law documents ever. It's there that I have issues. I'm considering Joseph Campbell for his work on myth, and I'm pretty sure Voegelin has stuff too, and I'm sure there's a bunch of commentary; after all, this is the second oldest law system in the WORLD after the civis juris of Justinian (Roman law). But how do you find the good stuff? The library is woefully deficient, and not that many people I know actually know what common law IS, let alone who's good on it.

I guess in the end, this thing is becoming three fold in purpose (oh dear...). First, to show that English common law, itself a wonderful system that has worked for a long long time is too bound up with the English political myth and ideal to be successfully transplanted outside of England. Second, that the common law is so versatile that it has gone through ALL of Aristotle's good governmental phases with little time spent in the three bad ones. Third, it's a justification of the "peculiar institutions" that exist in American law-- like that pesky stare decisis people abide by in court decisions. Oh dear, this is gonna be a tome and there's no way around it.

Oh another day, another dollar. I'm back at the Sbux, slinging coffee like it's going out of style, and ruining New Year's resolutions one at a time despite our new standards and "resolution drinks" (For example, the "Skinny Latte" lineup-- non fat milk, sugar free syrup, no whipped cream, and, as an added bonus, any residual joy has been removed. It goes straight to your hips you know.)

Beyond that life is as it ever was. I take the GREs on Saturday and then begin reading for my Senior Thesis. Before I knew I needed to take the GREs I was gonna write my whole thesis over break (it's so do-able!) Sadly, that's fallen by the wayside in the clouds of forgotten math and skills that I will rarely if ever need again. Aye me.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and my family plans this year are the kind of insane that only we can cook up. However, before everything gets lost in hustle and bustle, two links and commentary:

First, the just plain interesting. Archaeologists have found the cave of Romulus and Remus. This is cool to me because I spent a semester in Rome, studying and living. Also, I'm Italian, and was born and raised with a very firm grasp that, not only was I Italian, I was a Roman born, going back to time immemorial. The empire, the laws, the history, the glory all lay in my direct bloodline. It's heady stuff, that. To find the cave... well, while the saying may be "if it's not true, it's to the point," finding the sacred place for the first Romans is amazing. I mean, I know Romulus and Remus and their story and Aeneas and his, I've read the Aeneid in Latin for goodness sake. To know that this place of myth and legend and glory and power EXISTS, in time and space, under the ground I walked on, is amazing.

Second, the interesting and politically charged. Scientists say that they can change skin cells into stem cells. This is a boon because, while there have been stem cell alternatives to embryonic stem cells for a while, this is a personalized stem cell, which does away with the threat of rejection. Aside from that, it's amazing that science has progressed to this point. Scary, in fact. As someone who is pro-life in all aspects, I have to praise the work of these scientists for coming up with an alternative that does nothing but create, and hasn't an element of destruction in it. It's sort of exciting. At the same time, it's scary that humans have taken this power into their own hands. It seems god-like: to mutate one cell into another, even if it is through scientific means. It will certainly stir debate, but debate is good. Something with so much potential to improve the quality of life shouldn't come at the price of new life.

And with that, I wish you all (if there are any of you...) a Happy Thanksgiving! Don't get trampled on Black Friday if you venture out, and enjoy your time with your family if you stay in. I'm sure there's football to be watched. ^_^

Link Roundup

Real quick link roundup, mainly on the stuff that's near and dear to my heart:

Update on the status of the California fires, including a map from BBC so you can see where each fire is. FEMA, by the way, is the epitome of fabulous. They faked a news conference on the fires on Tuesday. Gave no notice to the press so they had their employees pose as reporters and give them questions that were, shall we say, less then impressive.

In other, slightly more happy/geeky news, a copy of the Koran sold for 1.1 million pounds sterling (that's about 2.2 million US dollars, give or take...). Why so much? It's from 1203 and written completely in GOLD. Yes, GOLD. Marginalia in silver. It reminds me of a little news item I saw a few weeks ago... when Ross Perot decided it was a good time to sell a little document called the MAGNA CARTA. Isn't that insane? It was the only copy of the Magna Carta in America. And why should we care about some old document that was the first codification of the rights of men against a tyrannical king? Well, aside from the obvious it was the basis of our own constitution.

Speaking of constitution, it's what we're doing this week in state and local. AGAIN. I'm as much in love with the Constitution as the next history geek, but this is the 6th time in 4 years, and it's not like we're going in depth, which would make it worth it...